September 28, 2023

It wasn’t the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 that sold me on the bidet. It was my honeymoon to Canada, where bidets were everywhere, at least at our hotel in Montreal. Maybe Toronto, too. Montreal for sure.

For those of you who regularly visit my blog, thank you. However, there’s no escaping our No. 1 topic in this post: No. 2s. It’s been a weird, traumatic year for everybody. This is something you deserve, and I’ll evangelize the bidet until everybody has one.

My first experience …
Oh, I had experienced a bidet before, thanks to my friend, the professor. Her third-floor hideaway was equipped with that secret spray that cleanses where the sun don’t shine.

It took some getting used to.

But now I don’t understand why the bidet hasn’t caught on everywhere. Why it’s not the norm. That perspective-altering honeymoon to the Great White North changed me forever on the bidet — and then when 2020 came around I was like, “Life. Too short. Need bidet.”

Pretty sure I scribbled that on a piece of notebook paper. Life-altering words.

Now for the why:

It’s cleaner than toilet paper. Fact. Eliminating the touch part of the bathroom equation cuts down on germ spread bigly. (It’s also cleaner down there.) But also, the bidet is cheaper than toilet paper, even if you buy a super fancy bidet like the one we got (Affiliate Link:) Genie Bidet Electric Heated Bidet Smart Toilet Seat | Unlimited Warm Water | Self Cleaning | Heated Seat | Elongated | Wireless Remote Control | Convenient Nightlight | Oscillating Wash | [UL listed]

Let’s talk about how much cheaper. Last week, I priced a big pack of toilet paper at $18.99. It was a huge pack, yes, but that would have lasted 3-4 weeks at our house. The big, fancy bidet was $320, meaning that with toilet paper alone, the bidet pays for itself in a year to 15 months.

For the record, we did not install it. The older I get, the more I value expertise and time. Get you a handy man (or woman) who knows how to do things right and can save you hours. Besides, in our case, because the bidet was electric, we needed a socket added to one side of our bathroom that didn’t have one.

We even have a remote. It’s decadent.

The seat is heated. The water pressure is strong. There’s also a swirl setting to stimulate movement when traffic ain’t moving, if you know what I mean.

It’s also a good investment for anybody with a back injury. When you throw your back out, the smallest of movements and the most mundane of tasks can become problematic. Between that and the fact that toilet paper, at times, just couldn’t be found — the bidet became the must-have item of 2020.

Now if I could only find Lysol. Anywhere.

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